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How to Handle it When your Adult Kids Ask For Money Too Often

I have always felt that one of my most important jobs as a parent is to help my children be self-sufficient. Someday I won’t be here, and they need to be successful and able to support themselves without assistance. If I enable them to consistently rely on me, how will they ever be able to really manage on their own? I have also seen many clients deal with this problem wrong. They give and give and give until there is no more to give. Then not only are they forced to say no, but they have no money left for themselves to live a reasonable life in their final years. Their child certainly can’t help them. Why wait until you are forced to say no? If you learn to say no when you should, not only will you be better able to live a more comfortable life yourself, but you will be teaching your children how to do so as well.

So how do you say no? Below are a few ideas on what to say.

Start with: I am sorry that you are having hard times right now. The best way I can help you is to help you learn to manage your finances successfully on your own. Let’s talk about how you might be able to do this. I can’t give you money. But I want to help you.

1. Here is a budget sheet for you to fill out. If you fill this out and bring statements from all of your current debt balances, we can work together to see how you can make things better. There may be ways to lower interest rates, consolidate debt or alter your budget.

2. There are non-profit agencies that help people with financial problems similar to yours. I can help you locate one that you can work with. You can contact them and work with them on your own. Or if you would like, I will be glad to go with you.

© July, 2011