Nancy Butler, CFP®, CDFA, CLTC’s Blog

Many very successful people today were “knocked down” time and time again.  They may have lost their business to fire or flood, claimed bankruptcy or had other major set backs.

No matter how many times we “get knocked down”, the key to getting back up and thriving is our attitude.  We are the only ones that control how adversity affects us.  Will you allow adversity to keep you down or use it to make you stronger?

Learn from adversity and use it to grow and make you even stronger going forward.  You can take  control of your future, if you have the right attitude.

©2012 Nancy Butler  All rights reserved

I am a firm believer that adversity can either make you stronger or break you.  And, we get to choose which side we fall on. It sometimes can seem like life is against you. Just when you think you’ve had enough, something else happens to cause more stress and upset at work, at home or in your personal life.  Regardless of the events that happen in our lives, the difference between success and failure often is in the decisions we make and the mind set we embrace.

I have seen this over and over again in my own life.  A great example of this is my journey through divorce and the need to move and change careers at the same time.  At age 31, I found myself in the process of a divorce. Having two daughters, I felt it important that they “see what a woman can do”.   And, I felt having my own business would give me the flexibility I needed with my time to be at home when I needed to be. So, I took my children and with no child support, alimony or other source of income, moved 70 miles away and started my own business.

I chose to start a financial planning and asset management business, having never owned
a CD, mutual fund or anything other than a savings account and knowing nothing about investing or financial planning.  I told myself that even if the business didn’t work out, the knowledge and experience I would gain would be worth it since what I would learn about
managing money would help me to raise my children.

Keeping my mind focused on the life and business I needed to build for my children and
myself seemed impossible in my current state of mind and with all I was currently dealing with.  The divorce made me feel like a failure.  And I had gone from living with my parents to being married.  So, I was now going to be on my own for the first time in my life and
needed to support and care for two children at the same time.  I needed to be strong for them and do my best to keep a smile on my face.

I learned that mind set is everything.  If you think you can’t do it, you probably cannot.
My mantra became “You can do almost anything you want in life, you just have to want it badly enough”.  I learned quickly that I needed to focus on my long term vision for my family and my business.  Living in the constant fear of how we will get by from day to day will not enable me to build the life and business we need and can also be very depressing.  Having a continued focus on and vision of what our future can be, became exciting and gave me something to look forward to.  In what felt like a totally out of control life, I was finally starting to feel in control of our future.

I built the business from scratch to one of the top asset management and financial planning practices in the country with the company.  After achieving Hall of Fame status, with approx. $200 million in assets under management and 1,200 clients, after 25 years in business, I sold my practice. I now no longer have to work, but enjoy being a national speaker and coach to help business owners do a better job for their clients and improve their bottom line and to help individuals live a successful life and realize their dreams.  My first book which will be available in early 2012.

Dwelling on the negative doesn’t help anything. You can decide to use it as a lesson to make your life and the life of others better.  Our attitude and outlook on what our future can be is something we have control over, if we work at it.

A few favorite quotes of mine include:

• “Will you allow your circumstances to break you or make you stronger?”
• “You can handle almost anything if you can see the light at the end of the tunnel to know it’s not going to be forever”.
• “It means more when you get there, if you had to work for it.”
• “It’s progress that matters, not perfection.”
• “Mind set and outlook on our life and  business are critical components for success”

 
©2012 Nancy Butler  All rights reserved

The main reason many people do not accomplish their goals is that they are not clear on exactly what their goals are, they have not put a plan in writing for the necessary steps to make it happen and do not allocate uninterrupted time to do what is required.

1. First you need to be very clear about what your goals are.  A goal should be
   reasonable but a bit of a stretch.  If it will happen automatically, it is not a goal.
   If it impossible to achieve, it is not a goal.  I suggest you have 3-6 personal goals and/or 3-6 business goals.
2. Prioritize your goals.  Think of it this way “If you could accomplish only one of your goals and none of the others, which would you choose?  If you could have only two which would be your second choice and so on.”
3. Put a plan in writing.  For each goal write down exactly what you need to do to accomplish the goal.  Include how much time is needed for each task, the cost involved, resources needed, who will do what, etc.
4. Put specific time in your schedule for each week starting now for when you will
   work on accomplishing your goals.  Do not allow anything (except an extreme emergency) to interrupt this designated time.
5. Monitor your progress at least monthly and more often if needed.  Make any adjustment along the way.  Update your plan to reflect the necessary
   changes.

©2012 Nancy Butler  All rights reserved

A few quotes of mine to keep in mind when in the middle of adversity.

Sometimes lessons in life come the hard way. But if we truly pay attention, learn and make the changes that are necessary, adversity can help put us “in a better place”.

We either allow our circumstances to make us miserable, or we can choose to make ourselves stronger. Only we decide which it will be. Other people and other things cannot.

 
©2012 Nancy Butler  All rights reserved

I have been through a lot in my lifetime some of which include my house catching on fire while we were all in it, another home flooded with over three feet of water and so much more.

Many of us have events in our lives that are devastating.  We are the only ones who can choose how it will affect us.  We can allow it to break us down or decide to use it to make us stronger.

Sometimes lessons in life come the hard way. But if we truly pay attention, learn and make the changes that are necessary, adversity can help put us “in a better place”.

©2012 Nancy Butler  All rights reserved

A)    Be sure to always maintain a cash reserve that will cover your required expenses for at least 3 months and even better, I recommend 6 months.  This can give you the time you need to decide what you want to do and to get back on your feet.

B)    Manage your debt and budget closely.  While you are still working, pay off short term and especially high interest debt.  Do not spend money you do not have.  Live conservatively now and put as much money away as you can.

C)     Take the time now to update your resume and references.

D)    This can be an opportune time to “reinvent the life you really want for yourself”.  Had this not happened you might have stayed in a job that did not provide the life you could otherwise have had.  Ask yourself this:

-  What did I like about the work I was doing?
-  What did I not like about the work I was doing?
-  If I could have any career, what (realistically) would be my ideal career?
-  What do I need to do to have it?
-  Do I need to go back to school?
-  If I want my own business, what skills do I need to assure it be successful?

©2012 Nancy Butler  All rights reserved